First Trimester
They say when a women finds out she's pregnant that's the moment she becomes a mother but I didn't feel it. It wasn't real. It was a Wednesday morning and my period was due the week before. I wasn't going to bother taking a test yet because every time it was a bit late my hopes shot through the ceiling and it usually ended in tears a day or two later. I took two tests (insisted by the Mr) and yeah sure there were two pink lines but that was it. After having such a big part of my heart leave there was a lot of doubt behind something good happening.
The first trimester was filled with days that left me wishing for my worst hangovers because those felt better. After a quick deduction that the baby hated dairy I gave up all my most favourite foods. Do you know how hard it is to not eat ice cream in the summer? That provided a great amount of relief and yet still felt like garbage. I was exhausted and frustrated. My back throbbed which I enjoyed compared to the nausea. I only threw up once (triggered by my beloved ice cream and chocolate milk) thank goodness but I fought it every morning. Usually calming it with ice cold fruit after a half hour it would pass unless I was at work. Then it would hit me harder when I would overheat and struggle to bring my temperature back down. I finally had my first day last week I didn't need to sit to avoid feeling sick and dizzy.
I was 12 weeks yesterday. Today was my first ultrasound. After consuming what felt like a bathtub full of water, I attempted to not explode. (They tell you to drink 5 glasses when in fact you only need two as I was told by the technician) I lay on the bed staring at the ceiling thinking 'please just one, please just one, please just one'. (twins was a great fear since my dad was a twin, I'd prefer to be broken in with one first) Watching the technicians face will not reassure you as the quizzical looks will cast so much doubt you start to look for exits. I wouldn't recommend it. After sometime she went to get Johnny and I peeked at the screen.
OMG you have a face. Those pictures can't be mine, it's so clear. I can see your perfect face. Your dad walked in and only glanced at me a moment before his eyes lit up like nothing I'd ever seen before. He believed it then. Even after two tests it took a picture for you to be real. I felt a new piece of my heart take it's place, it didn't replace the hole but it felt good. I thought to myself that if this tiny person loves me even half as much as I loved their grandpa I'm about to have my greatest adventure. I watched you dance around the screen, doing bridge pose from yoga and kicking your feet like you had places to go. I could see every finger and toe. You already have a name, whether you're a boy or a girl. You have a butt load of people who are very excited to meet you, maybe the cats are most excited of all because they won't leave me alone. I don't think they'll leave you alone when you get here either. I can't wait to find out who you are.
The first trimester was filled with days that left me wishing for my worst hangovers because those felt better. After a quick deduction that the baby hated dairy I gave up all my most favourite foods. Do you know how hard it is to not eat ice cream in the summer? That provided a great amount of relief and yet still felt like garbage. I was exhausted and frustrated. My back throbbed which I enjoyed compared to the nausea. I only threw up once (triggered by my beloved ice cream and chocolate milk) thank goodness but I fought it every morning. Usually calming it with ice cold fruit after a half hour it would pass unless I was at work. Then it would hit me harder when I would overheat and struggle to bring my temperature back down. I finally had my first day last week I didn't need to sit to avoid feeling sick and dizzy.
I was 12 weeks yesterday. Today was my first ultrasound. After consuming what felt like a bathtub full of water, I attempted to not explode. (They tell you to drink 5 glasses when in fact you only need two as I was told by the technician) I lay on the bed staring at the ceiling thinking 'please just one, please just one, please just one'. (twins was a great fear since my dad was a twin, I'd prefer to be broken in with one first) Watching the technicians face will not reassure you as the quizzical looks will cast so much doubt you start to look for exits. I wouldn't recommend it. After sometime she went to get Johnny and I peeked at the screen.
OMG you have a face. Those pictures can't be mine, it's so clear. I can see your perfect face. Your dad walked in and only glanced at me a moment before his eyes lit up like nothing I'd ever seen before. He believed it then. Even after two tests it took a picture for you to be real. I felt a new piece of my heart take it's place, it didn't replace the hole but it felt good. I thought to myself that if this tiny person loves me even half as much as I loved their grandpa I'm about to have my greatest adventure. I watched you dance around the screen, doing bridge pose from yoga and kicking your feet like you had places to go. I could see every finger and toe. You already have a name, whether you're a boy or a girl. You have a butt load of people who are very excited to meet you, maybe the cats are most excited of all because they won't leave me alone. I don't think they'll leave you alone when you get here either. I can't wait to find out who you are.
Beautiful! ❤️ So Precious! Xoxo
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